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Welcome to
Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ISSUE:
Guest Article: Beauty for Ashes
By: Joyce Meyer
Today’s Relationship Advice by Nancy
"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up
is what makes it permanent."
*Marilyn Vos Savant, American Columnist and Writer
"Wisdom is ofttimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar." *
William Wordsworth, 1770-1850, British Poet
Beauty for Ashes
By Joyce Meyer
I was sexually, physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally
abused by a number of different men from early childhood through
the age of twenty-three. I have been rejected, abandoned,
betrayed, and divorced. Needless to say, I know from personal
experience what it is like to be an "emotional prisoner."
Abuse leaves a person emotionally handicapped-it renders them
unable to maintain healthy, lasting relationships without
intervention of some kind. I wanted desperately to receive and
give love, but I was unable to. The abuse I experienced left
behind many ashes. I became controlling, manipulative, angry,
critical, negative, overbearing, and
judgmental. I was filled with self-pity, bitterness, depression,
and I was verbally abusive.
Even after I met and married my "knight in shining armor," Dave
Meyer, I was still a mess mentally and emotionally. Don't get me
wrong. I worked, went to church, and functioned in society like
many others. I was born again, I loved Jesus, and I believed my
sins were forgiven and that I would go to heaven when I died. But
I didn't have any peace, joy, or victory in my everyday life. The
real sad part is, I thought everybody else had a problem. I did
not know that the problem was really within me.
Rotten fruit is produced from ROTTEN ROOTS.
In order to exchange our ashes for God's beauty, we must first
realize that the "fruit," or behavior, in our lives comes from
somewhere. A person who is angry is angry for a reason. A person
who is critical and judgmental is that way for a reason. Bad
behavior is like bad fruit that is produced from a bad tree with
bad roots.
If you are dealing with undesirable behavior, it is very important
to take a look at the roots in your life. What type of things did
you experience growing up at home? In school? In past
relationships? In church? If they were hurtful or abusive to any
degree, God wants to uproot you from the pain of those experiences
and transplant you into the good soil of Jesus Christ. He wants
you and me to be rooted and grounded in His love:
"May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that
you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with
all the saints (God's devoted people, the experience of that love)
what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it]"
(Ephesians 3:17,18).
The Word also says to have the roots [of your being] firmly and
deeply planted [in Him, fixed and founded in Him], being
continually built up in Him, becoming increasingly more confirmed
and established in the faith... (Colossians 2:7) and by experience
and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God
cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in
love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in
him. This is a key scripture for me because it says that we should
be conscious and aware of God's love and put faith in it. As I
went through life's experiences and meditated on God's Word, I
became increasingly conscious of His never ending love for me.
With each passing day, I put more and more faith and confidence in
His love.
Eventually, when the devil came to condemn me for something I did
wrong, I learned to say, "Yes, I made a mistake." Then I went to
God, asked Him to forgive me, received His love (in the form of
forgiveness), and moved on. What a relief! Instead of spending
hours, days, or weeks feeling guilty about every thing we do
wrong, you and I can learn to run to God, ask Him to forgive us,
receive His forgiveness, and press on in our relationship with
Him.
Realize that the devil's goal is to separate you and me from God's
love, because God's love is the main ingredient in our emotional
healing. But don't let him succeed. You and I were created for
God's love and fellowship, and if we will trust that His love is
always flowing toward us, nothing will be able to separate us from
it.
God will use EVERY FRAGMENT of your broken life for good!
Abuse and mistreatment from others can leave our lives broken and
shattered in pieces. Our thoughts, our emotions, and our dreams
can all become fragments of what they were meant to be. But
thankfully we serve a God Who wastes nothing. After Jesus fed the
five thousand, He told His disciples, Gather up now the fragments
(the broken pieces that are left over), so that nothing may be
lost and wasted (John 6:12). I believe there is a spiritual
principle here that we can also apply to our lives. God will take
every broken piece of our lives and use them for good…if we let
Him.
My life was severely broken and fragmented by fear, insecurity,
emotional addictions, and a deep-rooted sense of rejection. Over
time, as I yielded myself to God, He took my fragmented life and
turned my mess into my message. Now, I have the privilege of
teaching His people how to break free from every hang-up and pain
of the past and be whole in Him.
Jesus is no respecter of persons. As you surrender your life to
Him daily, He will bind up your wounds and heal your bruises. His
Word is medicine for your soul…it brings healing to your mind,
your will, and your emotions. Proverbs 4:20-22 says, My son,
attend to my words; consent and submit to my sayings. Let them not
depart from your sight; keep them in the center of your heart. For
they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all
their flesh. I can’t say it enough that true freedom comes from
abiding in God’s Word—meditating, memorizing, and applying
specific scriptures to our specific wounds.
What are you doing with YOUR ASHES?
Whether you were hurt five minutes ago or fifty years ago, you
will always need to make a decision about what you are going to do
with the residue left behind. Mistreatment and abuse leave behind
“ashes” that can often manifest in an endless number of addictive
behaviors. What ashes are you dealing with in your life? Are you
dealing with an eating disorder? Do you battle with excessive fear
or a tendency to work too much? Is it alcohol or drug abuse? Are
you struggling with worry, reasoning, or an unsettled mind?
In order to exchange your ashes for God’s beauty and truly break
free from their effects, you must deal with the root causes. . .
you must allow the Holy Spirit to surface the issues from your
past where you need healing. Now, I am not saying you need to go
on a “digging expedition,” trying to remember every painful memory
from your past. The
Holy Spirit knows what to bring to your memory and when. His
timing is perfect, and when it is time to deal with something, He
will give you the power to deal with it.
If you are ready to begin the healing process or pick up where you
left off, Jesus stands ready and willing to heal you. To all who
mourn...he will give: Beauty for ashes; Joy instead of mourning;
Praise instead of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3 TLB). I encourage you to
pray a prayer like this:
Lord, I believe that You love me and that You can take all the
broken pieces of my life...the ashes...and make something good out
of them. In Romans 8:28 your Word says, “All things work together
and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love
God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." I love
You, Lord. Forgive me for the hurts I have caused others. I
receive your forgiveness now. Help me forgive those who have hurt
me. Lord, I receive your healing for my broken heart. In Jesus'
name.
My friend, God loves you with an everlasting, unconditional love.
He WILL heal you ...everywhere you hurt. Surrender your life to
Him today and every day. Pour your heart out to Him in prayer.
Spend time meditating on, memorizing, and speaking His Word.
Believe what He says about you in His Word instead of believing
how you feel or what others say. As you do, you will be
transformed into a triumphant trophy of God's grace!
Joyce Meyer is a NY Times best-selling author and one of the
world's leading practical Bible teachers, spreading God's Word to
millions of people around the globe.
Through her ministry, Joyce has taught on hundreds of subjects,
authored over 70 books and conducts close to 20 conferences per
year. In 2004, almost 2.5 million copies of her books were sold,
and well over 1 million were donated around the world. Her
television program is broadcast to two-thirds of the globe and her
radio program is broadcast on hundreds of stations worldwide.
http://www.joycemeyer.org
Dear Readers,
No matter what life events come your way, God is there for you and
loves you so much.
Here are some practical suggestions for helping you to develop a
conscious awareness of God's unconditional love for you from Joyce
Meyer:
How Can I Really Know God Loves Me?
*Tell yourself in your mind and out loud, "God loves me."
Say it over and over a few times, and let it sink in-especially
when you don't feel like He loves you. Say it in the morning,
during the day, and before you go to bed. Look at yourself in the
mirror, point to yourself, and say, "(Your name), God loves you."
*Keep a diary, a book of remembrance, of the special things God
does for you.
Include little things as well as major things. Read over your list
at least once a week, and you will be encouraged.
*Read some good books about God's love.
Consider starting with two books Joyce has written: Tell Them I
Love Them, and Reduce Me to Love.
*Pray for the Holy Spirit, Who is our Teacher, to give you a
revelation of God's love.
See John 14:26; 16:13.
*Learn, and commit to memory, several Bible verses about God's
love for you.
Here are some to help you get started:
* Psalm 139:17,18
* Isaiah 49:16
* Jeremiah 1:5
* Romans 5:5,8; 8:33-35,38
* Ephesians 2:4-6; 3:17-19
* 1 John 4:16-18
Please write to me at
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With God on your side, who
dare be against you?
I pray that He shine
His light upon you and bless you with
peace, joy and happiness.
May God bless your life and may you
experience abundant love!
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