Welcome to Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ISSUE:
Guest Article: The Key to Ending Pain with Others
By Barbara Rose
Today’s Relationship Advice by Nancy
"Happiness is something that
comes into our lives through
doors we don't even remember leaving open."
*Rose Lane, 1886-1968, American Author and Journalist
"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face."
*Anonymous
The Key to Ending Pain with Others
By Barbara Rose
It has taken me 40 years to learn exactly how to free myself from
pain with others. After reading the book The Dammapada I sat under
a tree to contemplate, and meditate on the wisdom I was soaking in
to the depths of my heart, mind and soul.
I remembered crying oceans of tears in my past, trying to “get it
right” with relationships, and remembered going through tremendous
turmoil as I slowly learned how to be authentic and genuine.
Then, I felt a deep and profound inner transformation as the words
“give compassion and understanding” came into my mind. It was one
of the greatest “AHA moments” that have changed my life. While
sitting under the tree, divine wisdom poured into my mind and I am
deeply grateful to be able to pass this wisdom on to you. When
someone does or says something that is upsetting to you, give
compassion and understanding for where they are on their path, for
where they are coming from, rather than try to “get” them to
understand you. When you are giving compassion and understanding,
you are no longer trapped into trying to get the same compassion
and understanding from the other person.
If someone you love no longer wants to be in your life, give
compassion and understanding, rather than try to get them back. If
someone disagrees with your way of doing things, give compassion
and understanding for their views, and then simply continue to do
as you prefer. There is no need to argue or debate. When you are
giving, you are authentically awakened and empowered in the most
altruistic sense a human being can attain.
If you are in a situation with
someone who brings harm to you, remove yourself from that person
completely, and give compassion and understanding for the level of
growth they had at the time. You see, when you are giving, you are
living in the moment, and fully in charge, alive, vibrant, and are
no longer seeking to get or obtain anything from anyone else. When
you are trying to get something from another, such as approval,
love, validation, permission, or anything else, this undermines
the authentic power of your heart, mind, and soul combined. Once
you give compassion and understanding you are free to BE who you
really are, rather than dance around someone else’s tune to “get”
his or her approval.
Think about it; by giving compassion and understanding, so many
disputes can be settled in harmony. So many things that another
did or said can be taken into that place of compassion and
understanding within you, which will free you from anger, sadness,
pain, and turmoil.
How long have you tried to “get” compassion and understanding from
others? Probably decades. How far have you gotten? Probably not
anywhere near where you are about to go. With compassion and
understanding as your guideposts in life, you can weather any
storm. You are free to go with the flow of life, rather than try
to create a new bend in a river. You are free to allow others
their birthright to be who they are, without trying to change
them. This in turn will free you.
The key to ending pain with others is to give others the
compassion and understanding that you would like to receive from
them instead. That is the key!
If others are giving you a difficult time, rather than try to get
them to see your view, give compassion and understanding for their
view. Then, there is no need for debates, arguments, criticism, or
ill actions. Where compassion and understanding dwell, discord is
eliminated. Some of the most profound awakening concepts for
humanity are so simple, that we are not taught to take them in and
contemplate on them for permanent, lasting and positive change.
Most people want the quick fix.
And here, I am happy to give it to you: When you give compassion
and understanding to others, you are forever free from the ego’s
trap of trying to get anything from them. You are free to live as
you most desire. You are free to forgive when you care about
someone who may have made a mistake or did not live up to your
expectations. You are free to fulfill your own expectations from
the compassion and understanding you give to yourself, and this, I
have experienced, will relieve your suffering and pain with others
permanently.
By Barbara Rose
http://www.borntoinspire.com
Relationship Advice By Nancy Pina
Be Generous and Do Good
"Let him who is taught the word share in all things with him who
teaches.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows,
that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the
flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit reap
everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for
in
due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we
have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who
are of the household of faith." - Galatians 6:6-10
The above is one of my favorite passages in the Bible which I keep
in mind when I am tempted to believe that I have accomplished a
goal all by myself. I know that every talent I possess is God's -
and I am merely the messenger for His glory.
God sees all the times you do good things in His name and rewards
those who give Him the glory.
Once you consciously decide to make God your number one priority
and realize that
everything you accomplish is for His larger plan for your life,
you will find blessings everywhere - above and beyond your dreams!
Please write to me at
asknancy@yourtruematch.com to see your advice here.
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I pray that God shines
His light upon you and bless you with
peace, joy and happiness.
May God bless your life and may you
experience abundant love!
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