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"Harmony in My Relationships"
"Firstly I would love to say that you are God sent. I have more confidence in all my relationships now ... at work, home, friends and people that I have just met."
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"The Leading Source for Reaching Your Relationship Goals" |
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Relationship Advice Article:
Stop Being the String Along, Part 2
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Welcome to Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ISSUE:
Guest Article: Stop Being the String Along, Part 2
By Barbara Rose
Today’s Relationship Advice by Nancy
"Some day, in years to come,
you will be wrestling with the
great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your
life. But the real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks.
Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme
sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously
conquer. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long
continued process."
*Phillips Brooks {1835–1893 American Episcopal Bishop}
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that, but the really great make you
feel that you, too, can become great."
*Mark Twain {1835-1910 American Writer & Humorist}
Stop Being the String Along: A
Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE
By Barbara Rose
Chapter 8
Getting Real in a Relationship (Part 2)
In order to attract, thrive, share a life with, and grow with "The
One" you have to be The One at all times and with zero games.
Being "The One" means zero settling. You refuse to settle because
you know your worth. You refuse to manipulate just to get what you
want by deception of any kind, because you have too much integrity
to lower yourself to playing manipulation games. You have too much
self love to sacrifice your truth. You have too much self honesty
to keep quiet out of fear. You have too much care for the other as
an equal member of the human race to even consider asking them to
sacrifice their truth just to please you.
If there are difficulties within the relationship, each of you
must sit down and share from your hearts everything that is
upsetting to you, while you give the other person equal center
stage to share their feelings, with the only desire to come to a
mutually agreeable solution.
If you have tried many times to work it out, and you genuinely
feel that there is no relationship left that resembles the kind of
relationship you genuinely desire and deserve, then peacefully
walk out of the relationship, so that you can both attract new
partners that you can have a mutually satisfying relationship
with.
"The One" doesn't even consider manipulative games or sacrificing
self truth to appease the other, or keep the status quo out of a
martyred self denial. View both yourself and the other person
purely as equal members of the human race. Have a life, or create
a life that you are passionate about so that you can share who you
really are with the other.
Show your real feelings. State your real feelings. If you're "not
sure" simply say you're not sure! If you feel scared, it's okay to
say that! This creates a platform for genuine, authentic intimacy,
where it is safe to share your truth. The reaction to that might
very well be that the other person feels relief that you have the
courage to be real rather than hide behind a façade of what you
think you're supposed to be in order to be good enough to gain
their approval. The only approval and validation you will ever
need can only come from within you. Far too many people are
tip-toeing around learned cultural rules and regulations to
"capture" the other person. How about trying being the real you so
that the other person has the opportunity to get to know who you
are, and what you're all about!
You don't have to go overboard to "prove" how lovable and
incredible you are to gain the approval of anyone. The key to
taking the games out of relationships is to stop playing head
games with yourself trying to figure out how you can "get" or
"keep" the other person. The key is in "getting" and "keeping"
your own life, and any other member of the human race is a part of
your life, rather than your central focus. Don't just "pretend" to
be busy - be passionately absorbed in your life! Don't just say
you're "not available," be available when you are able to be
available, because you have other priorities in your life, and
waiting by the phone is not one of them!
If you take all of the mental focus you have placed on the other
person as your be all and end all to your life purpose, then do
yourself a big favor: take that focus and place it on being your
best self, for you and the contributions you can make in this
world - then when you are genuinely able to see the other person,
see them and have a blast! If you feel like sending flowers,
send them! If you're in a relationship, and you have both
expressed that you want it to thrive, it's okay for a woman to do
something kind for a guy, and vice versa, as long as it is
mutually reciprocated. The relationship must be equal on all
levels. If it's not, what the hell are you doing in it? If you're
being taken for granted, leave! If you're being treated the way
you have always wanted to be treated, then treat the other person
the same way equally! Take the male/female games out of the
equation, because in the end, they never work. They may work for a
short time, but the games never make for a healthy, genuine, real
and authentic relationship.
If you think you have to put on an act, or cover up your true
self, then it's time to really ask yourself what you are so afraid
of. Usually the answer is not being lovable just by being who you
really are. So to counter that, be who you really are! If you make
the rule of thumb truth on all levels you cannot go wrong. If you
need more solitude, simply say so. If you would like to see the
other person more, it's okay to say: "I have such an awesome time
with you. It would be great if I could see you more." Then, trust
your instincts about the response that you get. If the other
person is swamped, then understand. If you're picking up signals
that you sense are BS, then honor what your smart intuition is
telling you, and get busy with your own life, with zero
complaints. Maybe someone is genuinely busy, they can still call.
Someone can be out of town and still send flowers. When someone
really cares, they show it. Moreover, when you really care about
you, you can show it to yourself by the excitement you are putting
into your own life, while you share everything you are doing with
the other person when you do get together.
Stop worrying so much if you are "getting it right" by being your
shining self.
Stop worrying if you are going to "mess everything up" by being
honest.
Stop worrying about who should be "chasing" whom by being and
sharing your authentic self.
Stop settling for less than you deserve by stating what you
prefer.
Stop compromising your integrity by dealing truthfully with the
other person on all levels.
Stop wasting your time trying to "capture" the other person by
being captured by your life purpose.
Stop being the string along by honoring every feeling you have,
and daring to be true to you.
Stop Being the Strong Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE
(ISBN: 0974145742) Published by The Rose Group. Barbara Rose
http://www.borntoinspire.com
Please write to me at
asknancy@yourtruematch.com to see your advice here.
Confidential replies can be obtained through
your purchase of ‘The Right Relationship Can Happen’
Visit Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1931947082/103-3406444-9942253
Simply forward your receipt
to
nancyp@yourtruematch.com
along with your relationship question.
I will reply to you within 24 hours or less.
I pray that God shines
His light upon you and bless you with
peace, joy and happiness.
May God bless your life and may you
experience abundant love!
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What Can You Learn About Relationships from Expert Nancy Pina? Get Ready To Be Amazed!!
Remarkable, real-life relationship advice expert Nancy Pina reveals the truth about why we attract certain relationships - and how you can raise your standards and reach the love you deserve.
Dear Friend,
Have you thought how wonderful it would be to share your life with the "right" relationship partner?
If you are like most people, you've dreamed of this, but ended up short of your ideal.
But this ideal IS achievable. If you are searching for a way to break out of old relationship cycles and experience true intimate love, I have created your road map to reach your relationship goals.
It all starts with releasing self-created “facades” – so you can be loved for who you really are.
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Only then … can you can attract the love of your life.
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Only then … can you create meaningful intimacy and true emotional connection.
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Only then … can you feel secure and fulfilled in a relationship based on a solid foundation of mutual love, trust & respect.
One of the biggest problems you might face is how to release past relationship pain and issues. I will show you how suppressing unresolved feelings will hold you back from attracting a wonderful new relationship.
In a simple, yet profound process, I reveal to you how to immediately change the way you think about relationships -- then redirect the creative power of your thoughts, words and actions.
Imagine how your life will change when you claim the knowledge and tools to attract the right relationship partner, and make your dream a reality.
You will discover:
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Why self-love is so important to manifest relationship success,
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The surprising role of intuition, and how to use it,
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What you need to know about past relationship origins,
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How core beliefs drive relationship choices, and
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Why forgiveness is so vitally important to loving relationships.
I also share my personal insights to my own relationship journey -- and encouragement that will help you overcome every relationship obstacle. You’ll learn:
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How to stop unconsciously attracting the same type of relationship,
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How to immediately recognize important qualities and characteristics in a potential partner,
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How to communicate lovingly and effectively, and
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How to silence your inner critic.
It is your destiny to experience a healthy, loving and joyful relationship with mutual respect, trust and honor for each other.
It would be my honor to work with you and show you how to put these right relationship principles to work so YOU can manifest the love of YOUR life.
I offer several different ways to share my teachings with you:
I look forward to working with you as you discover your right relationship and attract the love that God intends for you to experience.
Blessings,
Nancy Pina
Relationship Expert & Author The Right Relationship Can Happen
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