Welcome to Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ISSUE:
Guest Article: Seven Simple Exercises to Invite the Extraordinary
Life
By Guy Finley
Today’s Relationship Advice by Nancy
"We do not believe in
ourselves until someone reveals that
deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our
trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we
can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any
experience that reveals the human spirit."
*E.E. Cummings, 1894-1962, American Poet
"No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong,
gentle and good, without the world being better for it,
without somebody being helped and comforted by the very
existence of that goodness."
*Phillips Brooks
Seven Simple Exercises to Invite
the Extraordinary Life
By Guy Finley
I can think of no greater encouragement than the self-evident
Truth that there dwells in each of us the opportunity to explore
and know the Extraordinary Life. The meaning of Extraordinary I
wish to convey points to the immutable and inexhaustible
source that is the secret center of each of us: a timeless
resource open and available to anyone who would seek this Life
that sits behind life as we know it. Will we spend our lives in
mere dreams of winning a limitless life, or will we do the inner-
work of awakening from this dream? Choosing the Extraordinary Life
begins with our conscious work to realize it, which the following
special practices help to ensure.
1. Let Nagging Questions Go Unanswered: In stressful moments,
listen to what life
is trying to tell you about you instead of searching anxiously for
familiar answers to
make life feel "right" again. All fearful, doubt-filled moments
are secret reflections of
what we have yet to understand about life and ourselves, not
life's rejection of us or
our wish for happiness. Choose to go consciously quiet whenever
there is a riot in you. Refuse to take part in the search to
repair what you fear may be coming undone. Let go and watch what
happens when you consciously sacrifice the fear-filled self. This
new action allows the Extraordinary Life to enter into you where
its presence alone proves that all is well.
2. Don't Make the Rescue Call: In times of anxiety and fear, we
almost always call
upon someone or something to help us get through our stress. This
dependency on
others for strength not only weakens our soul, but also steals
from it the possibility
of being educated by the Extraordinary Life, which means we miss
two major lessons. First, the crucial lesson that all our fears
are based upon false evidence that appears real. With this
revelation comes our second realization that the same frightened
self that seeks rescue secretly confirms its imagined condition as
being real each time it cries out for help. Refusing to rescue
ourselves from inner states that scare us invites the
Extraordinary Life that shows us that no such scared self exists
that needs saving.
3. Take the Hard Way: Rut and routine are two sides of the same
sad street. Repetitive patterns are the well-worn pavement that
our spiritually asleep self loves to tread while it talks us to
death with its empty promises of extraordinary times "just ahead."
We can learn to do much better let ourselves be betrayed in this
way, but it takes inner work! Instead of caving into the demands
of those slipshod parts of ourselves always looking for the easy
way out, we must choose in favor of what our false nature wants us
to see as being the "hard" way. But it's not. In fact, once we
learn that the only real way out of what we would rather avoid is
to go through it, we discover another self-liberating truth: the
only thing that's hard on us is when we allow our unenlightened
nature to convince us that getting around something is the same as
rising above it.
4. Do the Thing You Fear Doing: There is a correct time and place
for thinking through practical plans in the ordinary scheme of
life's events. But nothing that is founded in thought can serve to
reveal the unthinkable plans that the Extraordinary holds in store
for anyone willing to leap into the moment without a parachute.
Never mind those old fears of falling. Just jump! Being willing to
risk failing is a prerequisite for fearless living. If you will
take the leap into what you are afraid of doing, the Extraordinary
Life will prove to you that Its unshakable ground is everywhere
beneath you at all times. Nothing compares with this discovery
because, once realized, there's nowhere to go but up! A note of
caution: taking a spiritual leap is far different from taking a
reckless physical risk. Never risk the well being of your physical
body for the sake of a passing thrill: for what is possible to
attain with a body, cannot be without one. The temporary rush of
adrenalin has nothing in common with one's awakening to the
reality of a timeless, fearless life.
5. Take Time Out from Yourself Every Day: Unseen by the self that
walks upon it,
thought is a treadmill powered by the movement of our yesterdays
as they produce
our tomorrows. This is the real meaning of "doing time." The
domain of the Extraordinary Life is Timeless. To share Its life,
we must enter into Its world. Here is a good way to begin this
Work: Every day, as often as can be remembered, chose to break out
of that gilded, but self-confining cage called "thinking about
yourself." We live under the power of these unconscious
ponderings, for when they turn dark and stormy, it is we who are
left out in the cold. Even if we can only collect ourselves to
meditate, pray or contemplate a Higher Idea for a few minutes at a
time, we must do it anyway. These small windows -- opened by our
work to remember the Extraordinary Life -- grant us passage into
its timeless domain.
6. Open Yourself to Life: Dare to see and experience yourself as
you are without giving names to all the varied emotional
sensations that present themselves before your watchful inner
eyes. Allow the meaning of whatever states you see coming up in
you to reveal their actual nature to you. Resist the temptation to
interrupt their upwelling by explaining to yourself what you are
experiencing. Have no intention toward these thoughts and feelings
other than to be open to them and, in doing so, to permit them
their uninterrupted passage through you. Why open up to life in
this way? For one thing, this gives negative states the back door
they need to depart. For another, the Extraordinary Life is very
possessive. It will not enter any zone marked "occupied."
7. Make No Campsites: The Extraordinary Life visits individuals,
not groups or
organizations. It strengthens the soul willing to be alone for its
sake. Keep your
distance from people who insist that you believe as they do, who
hope to convince
you that the reality they have satisfied themselves with should
satisfy you as well.
These deceivers want only to keep you in their unreal camp. Never
mind who is
walking with you and who isn't. Be wary of any campsite -- inner
or outer -- with its
bright "welcome weary traveler" sign. Most of these campers desire
your company
so that they can forget they are going nowhere. Walk on! Your
persistence is an open invitation to the Extraordinary Life to
show you the Way back home.
About the Author:
Guy Finley is Founder and Director of the Life of Learning
Foundation, devoted to
helping people realize their True Relationship with Life.
http://www.guyfinley.com
Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
Dear Nancy,
I am in a long-distance relationship.
It is very difficult for both of us
but circumstances dictate that we will have to be this way for
quite a while longer. My problem is as we have just fallen in
love, I find myself
questioning every little thing thinking it means he doesn't want
to be with me anymore, for instance, if he doesn't call exactly
when he says or if we make plans that fall through.
We both have very demanding careers
and its not always his fault if things don't work out like we'd
hoped, still, I find his attitude about it much more calm and
relaxed than mine and I feel as if it means it doesn't mean as
much to him or that the relationship is becoming too difficult for
him to continue. I am trying my hardest to keep everything
lighthearted and not let him see this insecurity, yet I know it
comes out at times and although he reassures me that he loves me
and that he is not going anywhere, I can't seem to stop obsessing
about every little thing. And yes, I have been betrayed in the
past, so I know some of this is baggage.
Any advice?
Fretting in Wyoming
Dear Fretting,
You hit on the core of your issue when you said that you have been
betrayed in the past. Unconsciously, you may not have truly
forgiven what happened to you in your past relationship.
As a result you have formed a core belief that the men you love
will eventually leave you. Our core beliefs are so powerful that
they can and will create those situations to
occur over and over until we resolve to change our beliefs.
I encourage you to examine your heart and release the fear, anger
and hurt that resulted from the past. It does not serve you to
keep any past pain alive. Even when we feel we have grieved and
moved on with our lives, these issues arise in
other relationships as a reminder that we have more emotional and
spiritual work to do. Forgiveness must be embraced to move
forward.
Ask God for guidance to forgive the past, give thanks for opening
a wonderful door to love for you, and ask for the wisdom to build
a solid foundation of mutual love, trust,
friendship and shared morals and values in your present
relationship.
Please write to me at
asknancy@yourtruematch.com to see your advice here.
Confidential replies can be obtained through
your purchase of ‘The Right Relationship Can Happen’
Visit Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1931947082/103-3406444-9942253
Simply forward your receipt
to
nancyp@yourtruematch.com
along with your relationship question.
I will reply to you within 24 hours or less.
I pray that God shines
His light upon you and bless you with
peace, joy and happiness.
May God bless your life and may you
experience abundant love!
|
