Welcome to Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ISSUE:
Guest Article: 5 Ways to Feel Super-Optimistic
By Michael Mercer, Ph.D.
Today’s Relationship Advice by Nancy
"How far that little candle
throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
* William Shakespeare, 1564-1616, British Poet, Playwright,
Actor
"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that
makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy."
*Albert Clarke
5 Ways to Feel Super-Optimistic
By Michael Mercer, Ph.D.
Optimism is the hidden key to your personal and business success.
Optimists possess a clear vision of an exciting life, confidently
work on
goals to achieve their vision, and take self-responsibility. In
contrast,
pessimists have no clear vision of a fantastic life, and they love
to
complain, blame, and moan. How can you become more optimistic?
I will divulge five little-known “secrets” to help you immediately
feel upbeat, confident, and optimistic.
Research: Why Optimism Is Good for You
Tons of research prove that optimists do vastly better than
pessimists in
their:
1. Health
2. Wealth
3. Career success
Health.
A growing body of “psychoneuroimmunology” medical research links
how
a person’s emotions affect his or her health. Some intriguing
findings:
Optimistic people are less likely to get sick than pessimistic or
depressed
people. This includes illnesses ranging from common colds to
cancer.
Optimistic people also get well faster than pessimists.
Wealth.
A fascinating study found that self-made millionaires worry much
less than
people who earn as much money but have not achieved millionaire
status.
What is the connection between being optimistic and making
yourself into
a millionaire? Optimists are much more likely than pessimists to
make a
goal of achieving millionaire status. They also keep plugging away
at being
frugal, investing wisely and working hard to turn financial dreams
into reality.
In contrast, pessimists are less likely to set net-worth goals or
consistently
take actions to become millionaires.
Career Success.
Many companies use my firm’s Abilities & Behavior Forecaster™
pre-employment
tests when choosing applicants. To start, a company has
high-achievers take the test.
Also, underachievers may take the test. Then, we identify how the
high-achievers
score, so the company can prefer hiring applicants who score like
its profitable,
productive employees. Intriguing finding: One of the Forecaster™
test’s 18 scales
is Optimism. Typically, high-achievers typically score high on the
Optimism test
scale, while underachievers score moderate or low on Optimism.
This repeated
finding verifies that optimists achieve greater career success
than pessimists.
So, how can you boost your optimism to achieve greater health,
wealth, and
career success? Here are five immediately useful techniques. Each
takes only
one minute to do, so you can start fast and get results today.
1st Technique: Straight Posture and Big Steps
Optimistic people use straight posture, walk fast, and take big
steps. Pessimistic
people slouch, walk slowly, and use small steps. Imagine seeing
someone walking
with his or her head held high, shoulders back, walking fairly
fast with big steps.
That person exudes confidence. In contrast, a person whose head
and shoulders
slouch and walks with slow, small steps reeks a gloomy mood.
Why is a straight posture crucial? Because before you can
straighten out your head,
you first need to straighten up your body!
2nd Technique: Cheerful Voice
A lightning quick way to feel upbeat is to use a cheerful voice.
Think of a time when
you felt annoyed. Then, your phone rang. You answered it, and your
caller was
someone you wanted to impress. I bet you spoke in a cheerful voice
so you would
impress your caller. Result: You immediately started feeling your
mood lift.
Why is a cheerful voice an incredibly powerful optimism tool?
Psychological research
proved that a person emotionally feels the emotion he or she is
acting at the moment.
So, if you act cheerful, you feel cheerful. And a cheerful voice
is the fastest way to
act optimistic.
3rd Technique: Use Upbeat Words
You can use types of words: upsetting and upbeat. Pessimists
relish using upsetting
words, while optimists excel at using upbeat words. Examples:
Upsetting Words, Upbeat Words
Problem, Opportunity
Tired, Recharging
Depressed, Bumming
For example, a pessimist says, “I have a problem.” In contrast, an
optimist would say,
“I have an opportunity to do better next time!”
4th Technique: Use Upbeat Attitudes
I find the chief way to become an optimist simply is to focus on
solutions – and not
focus on problems. Every time a difficulty pops up, immediately
create solutions and
put them into action. Examples:
Upsetting Attitudes, Upbeat Attitudes
Focus on problems, Focus on solutions
Dwelling on weaknesses, Dwelling on strengths
Thinking about financial woes, Thinking about achieving prosperity
Why is a solution-focus ultra-important? Because you can only have
one thought in
your head at a time. So, if you focus on solutions, you cannot
wallow in problems,
complaining, blaming, or moaning.
5th Technique: Be a Magnificent Role Model
Remember a time you were a role model for someone. As you helped
that person,
you also helped yourself. As the proverb goes: “What goes around,
comes around.”
If you are a delightfully optimistic role model for employees,
co-workers, family and
friends, then you simultaneously make yourself optimistic.
How do you do this? Make sure people see you using straight
posture, taking big
steps, speaking in a cheerful voice, using upbeat words and
focusing on solutions.
Anyone can become an optimist. When people use these five
techniques, they
invariably tell me they feel heavy burdens lift off their
shoulders. They feel positive,
upbeat, and confident. You only need a few minutes to put these
tips into action.
They can be your key to enhanced health, wealth, and career
success.
© Copyright 2004 Michael Mercer, Ph.D.
About the Author
Michael Mercer, Ph.D., is a consultant, speaker, and founder of
The Mercer Group, Inc. in Barrington, Illinois. He delivers
speeches and seminars at conferences and companies.
http://www.DrMercer.com.
Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
Love
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be
seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
Helen Keller, 1880-1968, American Blind/Deaf Author, Lecturer,
Amorist
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each
other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 1900-1944, French Aviator and Writer
The secret to finding the right relationship partner is attitude.
First check your heart and make sure that your definition of
love is positive and optimistic. By letting go of old love hurts,
you will stop recreating patterns from past relationships and
move forward to a true, loving and connected union.
You are blessed and highly favored in the eyes of
God. He wants each of you to experience to wonders of
love with the right person.
Please write to me at
asknancy@yourtruematch.com to see your advice here.
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I pray that God shines
His light upon you and bless you with
peace, joy and happiness.
May God bless your life and may you
experience abundant love!
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