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Welcome to Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ISSUE:
Guest Article: 11 Ways to Make This Your Best Year Ever
By Charles M. Marcus
Today’s Relationship Advice by Nancy
"Enjoyment
is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important
ongoing activity."
*Paul Goodman {1911-1972 American Novelist & Playright}
11 Ways to Make This Your Best Year
Ever
By Charles M. Marcus
The start of a fresh new year. This is a wonderful time to take
stock and reflect on the year gone by,
the triumphs you achieved, the time you shared with family and
friends, the good choices you made in business.
But in order to grow and develop both personally and
professionally, you also have to look back at and acknowledge
the things that challenged you, the things that did not go so
well.
There is nothing wrong with setbacks, in fact, I believe that if
we don't have obstacles to overcome along the way
we won't learn and grow. Thomas Watson, the founder of IBM, once
said, "If you want to increase your rate of
success, you better be prepared to increase your rate of failure."
We all have hopes and dreams for a new year. The slate is wiped
clean for all of us as we start afresh.
Why not take a few moments in to think about your dreams and goals
for 2005?
In what areas do you want to grow? What is truly important to you?
What challenges do you want to take on?
Most of us don't realize what we can accomplish when we unleash
the hidden talents that we possess.
To help you make this year your best ever, take a few moments to
ponder these 11 suggestions:
1. CHALLENGE YOURSELF
Have a clear vision and focus of what you want to achieve and set
a time frame.
Challenge yourself to be the best you can be at all times.
Visualize what you want to accomplish.
See it in your mind. Write down your goals, have a plan of action,
and never doubt you will be successful.
2. FIND THE LOVE FACTOR
Surround yourself with loving, supportive people. Stay away from
the dream stealers, the people who would
bring you down. Cherish the special people in your life and let
them know you cherish them.
3. DEDICATE QUALITY TIME
Life is so precious; make the most of each and every day. Rise
early, spend some quality time by yourself
as well as with those you care about. Go for a walk, workout, read
a book. Value not only the time you spend
with your loved ones, but also the time you spend by yourself.
4. STRETCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Do at least one thing a day, which makes you feel uncomfortable.
Push yourself; you will be amazed how far
you can go. Remember: on the other side of fear is freedom. To
remain stagnant is not to grow. To reach your
full potential, you must rise above the fray and soar like an
eagle.
5. BE PASSIONATE
Show passion in everything you do. Let it show in your body
language, in your smile, in your voice. Let your
eyes sparkle. Let the world see and hear your enthusiasm and let
it feel your passion.
6. SERVE OTHERS
Be a role model and mentor for people. Volunteer in your community
and help others achieve their goals.
Your world will be enriched and a better place for sharing your
talents and giving freely of your time.
Leave a lasting legacy.
7. DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
Let go of the little things you can't control. Don't take yourself
so seriously. Recognize that perfection isn't
always the only option. Don't let life's imperfections bother you.
Lighten up and see the funny side of things
when they go wrong, the learning in them. Be tolerant,
smile...don't waste your energies on the small stuff,
you have much bigger fish to fry.
8. LIVE WITH INTEGRITY
Always be true to yourself. Take pride in whatever you do. Be
proud of who you are and what you represent.
Accept others with all their flaws. Show compassion and goodwill
to your fellow human beings. Be dignified.
Lead a life of purpose and be proud of your values.
9. SHOW GRATITUDE
Show gratitude and say thank-you to the people who have helped you
along the way. Send a handwritten letter
to someone who has touched you. Call up a friend or loved one and
tell them how much they mean to you.
Compliment a colleague or business associate on a job well done.
Show people you appreciate and care
about them. Acts of kindness cost nothing but mean everything.
10. CELEBRATE SUCCESS
Be proud of your achievements. Take time to recognize yourself and
others for even the small successes.
But also be humble and dignified, sensitive to people who are not
as fortunate as you.
11. EXUDE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
I cannot express enough the importance of having a positive
attitude and believing in yourself. Yes, you can
be well intentioned, you can be determined, but without a positive
attitude about yourself and about life,
you will not succeed. Dreams will die, goals will fade, and gloom
and darkness will replace clear blue skies
and sunshine in your mind and heart.
Remember people will sometimes forget what you say to them or do
for them, but they will never forget how
you made them feel in their hearts. Make yourself a commitment for
this year not only to have the best year
ever, but to help others that you care about accomplish this goal
as well.
Charles M. Marcus is a professional speaker, trainer and writer.
Charles works with organizations and corporations
across North America and Great Britain that want to ignite and
maximize performance potential.
http://www.cmarcus.com
Relationship Advice by Nancy Pina
Dear Nancy,
What can I do about my fiancé?
Every time he gets mad at me he
threatens to leave.
He even goes so far as to pack up his clothes & take them out to
his car.
Sometimes he'll actually leave for 30 minutes or so or sometimes
he just
sits outside for a little bit then he comes back & says he doesn't
want to
leave & I make him so happy, but he just doesn't know what to do
when
he gets mad. Most of the time I don't even know what he's mad
about.
The last time he did it I told him that he can't keep doing this
to me.
That if he did it again I wanted him to just go & not come
back-that I
couldn't take not knowing if this is going to be the time that he
really leaves.
He also has a very low opinion of women in general. He has said
that women
are liars, cheats, whores, & you can't trust any of them. I've
tried to convince
him that not all women are like that. Sometimes he tells me one
day that I am
the best thing that's ever happened to him & a couple of days
later he'll get mad
about something & I'm "just like all of them".
I don't know if I can take this emotional roller coaster ride much
longer.
I have told him when he asks me "why do you always give me a
second chance"
that I will fight for anything as long as I think it's worth
fighting for.
Nancy, most of the time I think this guy is worth the fight, but
how do I convince
him that I deserve better. I am a good-hearted woman that doesn't
want to hurt
anyone, but how much hurt do I have to take before he realizes
this?
Dear Gwen,
Thank you for writing to me and sharing your concerns about your
fiancé.
We tend to recreate in our adult relationships what we experienced
as a child.
More than likely, your fiancé grew up in a family that experienced
a lot of drama.
He is attracted to that feeling the drama creates when he pretends
to leave you.
As you have experienced, he really doesn’t want to leave, but he
unconsciously
wants to experience the feelings that scenario creates.
Ideally, he would agree to pre-marital counseling with you. Until
he understands
why he repeats this cycle in your present relationship, it will
continue to happen –
and become increasingly worse. Keep in mind that marriage will not
make things
better or make these issues go away.
I am also very concerned for you about his attitude towards women.
It is important
that he explore the origin of his terrible opinion towards women
and resolve this issue
before you marry.
At some point in his life he formed a core belief that women are
liars, cheats, whores
and untrustworthy. As long as he has this core belief, he will
manifest a situation in
your relationship to “prove” his core belief is right. This seems
to be a deeply ingrained
core belief for your fiancé, so please take this into
consideration before you marry him.
Gwen, you deserve to experience a loving, healthy and happy
marriage to a man who
treats you like a queen. I encourage you not to take this next
step until you feel this
in your relationship. If your intuition is telling you to let this
relationships go, please
listen to this wisdom. God speaks to us through our intuition and
know that if this is
the direction you are being guided to take, He will open another
door to love for you.
Please write to me at
asknancy@yourtruematch.com to see your advice here.
Confidential replies can be obtained through
your purchase of ‘The Right Relationship Can Happen’
Visit Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1931947082/103-3406444-9942253
Simply forward your receipt
to
nancyp@yourtruematch.com
along with your relationship question.
I will reply to you within 24 hours or less.
Remember that with God on your side, who
dare be against you?
I pray that He shine
His light upon you and bless you with
peace, joy and happiness.
May God bless your life and may you
experience abundant love!
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