The illusion of need in relationship

"The ego seeks to use other people to fulfill our needs as it defines them.  When we try to use a relationship to serve our own purposes, or we abandon it in a belief that it has failed us, we falter because we are reinforcing our illusion of need."

None of us really "need" specific things from other people, other than their interactive presence in our lives.  Yes, we all deeply need relationship.  It's how we get to experience ourselves and to learn and grow as human beings.  When we expect (or insist on) a relationship to serve us in a specific way - to fill some hole in our heart that we have not been able to fill ourselves - it is not uncommon to be left disappointed and frustrated.  In our fear and pain, we often thrust our defenses and demands in others' faces, sometimes disguised in carefully selected words (because we don't want to actually look or sound like we feel), and they feel it when we do and then turn right around and do the same to us.  As described in an earlier message, our purpose in life is to learn how to love and then to consciously do so, again and again. 

The way we learn is through making numerous, painful mistakes, and then getting right back into relationship with the lessons fresh and alive.  The lessons we don't learn are bound to be repeated until we do, so we have our lifetime to work it out.  The way we delay learning is to declare ourselves right with others and/or to avoid the lessons and/or the relationships.  However, in this game - the game of life and loving - you can run, but you cannot hide.  The lessons never stop coming.