Cultivating intimacy through integrity

"A way to discover intimacy with ourselves, our loved ones, and all of life is to live with integrity, basing our lives on a vision of compassionate non-harming.  When we dedicate ourselves to actions that do not hurt ourselves or others, our lives become all of a piece, a seamless garment with nothing separate or disconnected in the spiritual reality we discover.  In order to live with integrity, we must stop fragmenting and compartmentalizing our lives. Telling lies at work and then expecting truths in our homes is nonsensical.  Using our sexual energy in a way that harms ourselves or others, and then expecting to know transcendent love in another arena, is mindless. Every aspect of our lives is connected to every other aspect of our lives. This truth is the basis for an awakened life.  When we live with integrity, we further enhance intimacy with ourselves and others by being able to rejoice, taking active delight in our actions."
 -- Sharon Salzberg

This topic was the consistent theme of yesterday's coaching discussions.  The integrity of one's life is just like a jigsaw puzzle.  It only takes one piece to be damaged or missing for the whole vision to be distorted and every other piece to be diminished as a result.  For example, when one's health is weakened, every other element of life is weakened.  When one's family relationships are strained, all relationships suffer.  When one's principles are compromised at work, all of life is compromised. 

The obvious outer sign of this inner turmoil is when a person, out of guilt and self-contempt, spends an inordinate amount of their energy blaming and judging others.