The power of love

"Real giving is when we give to those we love what's most important to them, whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not."
-- Michele Weiner-Davis 

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-- George Eliot 

"When love and skill work together expect a masterpiece."
 -- John Ruskin  

"Love is no assignment for cowards."
-- Ovid

"They do not love who do not show their love."
-- William Shakespeare

"Love doesn't commit suicide or die of old age.  We have to kill it for it to die.  It often dies out of our neglect - from starvation."
-- Diane Sollee

Love sure is a complicated game.  The thing we want so much, out of some vague feeling of lack, we must give to get.  What kind of sick joke is that?  There really are no words that adequately express the intensity of our feelings on this subject.  I just thought I'd share some that made me feel and think. 

And to those of you out there who are spending your lives working to make life a little less difficult for others, and there are many of you who do it in many different ways, I salute you for your powerful understanding of what love is.

An example of this love at work follows.  I have a good friend that I coach who has been in somewhat of a slump lately, and it has been a rocky few weeks for him.  Many painful events have unfolded in his life, and he has temporarily lost his way.  People have commented to him, and to me, that he is reverting back to his old ways; they have given him a hard time about it, and he has remained stuck in the face of all of the pain and negative feedback.  Well, I saw him yesterday morning at the coffee shop, and he told me that his CEO just saw him in the hallway of their offices and walked up to him, looked him in the eye with a knowing gaze, and gave him a deep hug of acknowledgement and encouragement, ... and said nothing else.  As he told me the story he broke down crying, coming to the realization that that hug was the most powerful thing anyone had said to him that entire day - in fact, for weeks.  That hug broke down all of his armor and removed all his barriers - it broke him down to his naked humanity, ... and he sobbed uncontrollably at the table.  And after he was done sobbing he said, "I know what I have to do now, and I have a lot of work to do."  And he was peaceful, ... and he was smiling.  He committed to making a few amends over these next few days; he had people to whom he realized he owed an apology.  He committed to really "being" with (and possibly crying with) his son over the upcoming weekend, acknowledging the finalization of his divorce from his Mom.  This has been a deep and silent pain for many months.  Beginning next week, he re-committed to the daily rituals that he knows keep him on track in his daily life, and to meet with me on Tuesday to re-commit to the next phase of his Life Plan.  All of this resulted from a simple hug; no words required.  Sometimes "knowing silence" - simply being with another person in their despair - is the most powerful form of love there is.  This is love of the highest order - the kind that brings people back in touch with themselves and with God.  There is no more powerful leadership force in the world, and it takes a strong person who has "been there" to give it.